Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Freaking Out

I talked to the woman about my housing. They started their program last April, so those leases will be up in April. I’ll have an apartment if someone decides not to renew their lease. So I have a chance, not much of one, but still a chance. Apartments are really expensive around here, so when you can get on that’s affordable, people have a tendency to hold on to it.

So, I’m really excited about getting my own place. My sister has some really strict rules. I’m not allowed to have friends over, especially any men. If I get a phone call, I have o tell her who it is and what they want. She looks over my shoulder when I’m on the computer. And if I try to say something about it, she reminds me that she could throw me out (it’s her rules or the highway). There’s been no fights, I follow the rules even though they make me feel like less and less of a person. I appreciate what my sister and her husband have done for me, I love and adore them both. I just can’t wait to be out of here so I can start living again.

Now, I’m excited that the finish line is in sight. Most people would be happy right? I am. But now I’m freaking out about other things.

I don’t have anything for an apartment. No furniture (couch, tables, etc), no silverware, dishes, shower curtains, curtains in general. No tv, phone, chairs. Hell, I don’t even own a bed (I currently sleep on a cheap futon, that’s falling apart). Not to mention no towels, sheets, lamps. Nothing.

Over the last few months, I’ve been hitting up people to see if they have anything I could have. My youngest sister said she has a Playstation 2 I can have (not that I need it, lol) and a small bedside table. The sister I live with says I can have a coffee table and a lamp. And that’s it.

So, I’ll have an apartment. But I’ll be sitting on the floor, eating with my hands, in silence in the dark while my neighbors walk by peering in at me.

But it’ll all be mine. ;)

Jen

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