Friday, February 27, 2009

Yes, this IS my life

**Warning: this post is a little personal. Talk of sex and toys. If this makes you uncomfortable, stop reading now.**

Ok, first a little background.

I’ve always been one of those uncomfortable people when it comes to sex. The rules: No one is permitted to see me naked and the lights are always off during sex. Yeah, I’ve always been a bit of a prude. I never went thru a promiscuous phase. And honestly, I was never really interested in sex.

Then I turned 32. When they say your hormones go into overdrive after 30, they aren’t kidding. At 32, mine went into super overdrive and have stayed there. I think about it all the time, just have no one to follow thru with. Ug.

My sister is a different story. She totally owns her sexuality. She enjoys a healthy relationship with her husband, has no problem with being naked or her body, and has no problem letting people know they use “toys”.

Now back to my story.

So, in honor of my newly single status, I’ve been trying to keep an open mind about things. I’m certainly not the type to pick up strange men in a bar or online. I don’t do the one nighter thing.

I was out with my sister the other day running errands. She then informed me that she needed to stop by the “adult toy store” because her favorite toy had broken (how the hell does that happen? Ahem). I had talked to her about getting a toy of my own, but I’m such a prude, I wanted to order something thru the mail. But I went in with her anyway.

I have never felt so uncomfortable in my life. One of the clerks came over to help my sister, she quickly told them she was a repeat customer but that I needed helping. Ug. I have never used “uh, um, well, um, uh” so much in my life, lol.

I explained to her that I was a first timer. The clerk grabbed an item from the shelf, popped it out of the package, put batteries in it, and handed it to me. So, there I stood with this vibrator in my hand humming away. I thought I was going to die.

The clerk then informs me that it’s a perfect “first toy” and she has one at home. She even told me that it “gets to all the right spots”.

Ug. Vibrator shopping with my sister? What has my life become?

Not to mention, a week later, my sister was asking me if I had used “bob” and if I liked him.

Jen

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