Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The thing about starting over....

Where do you start? I feel like I'm stagnant, not getting anywhere. I know it won't be like this forever, but it seems like it's going to take years to rebuild my life. Or to just have one, lol.

I have a plan, things are moving, but a snail is faster.

There is one thing I know: I'm in a much better place now and actually have a chance to have a life. And I'm stronger than I thought I was. How many people could just pack their car one morning, leaving behind their old life (and bad situation), and NEVER look back?

My sis asked the other day if I missed the ex. Nope. There really isn't much to miss. Do I miss him telling me I'm stupid? No. Do I miss him yelling at me to shut my damn mouth? No. Do I miss him threatening to drag me out of the house by my hair? No. Do I miss the other horrible things he did? HELL NO.

Yes, it's hard. I lost the house I put the $6000 down payment on, I think that's the thing I do miss. I really loved that house. And I was an idiot for putting MY settlement money down on it and then letting it be put in his name only.

But you live and learn.

I have a semi-clean slate to work with. Let's see what I can do.

Jen

2 comments:

LLnL said...

You get a standing ovation. My life is not as exciting but I am in a transition stage and trying to rebuild so that I can have a fresh start. I know that house probably hit your heart, but who would want to deal with the ex having easy access to you, feeling like you live in his home. Yeah it probably feels like throwing out the baby with the bath water, but you are better off w/o it.

Lin said...

Yes, you lost your old life (and some money)....but you've gained a WHOLE new one! A safe one, and one where you won't be scared, belittled, or harmed anymore. Good for you for escaping that situation--you are brave beyond words!!!

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