Friday, August 14, 2009

Clarifying about my therapy

I wanted to talk a little bit more about my last post. Since this is a personal blog, where I try to be open an honest about myself and what's going on with me (even if it hurts me, lol).

Over the last few weeks, my therapist has had me keep a log of what causes me anxiety, why, and to what degree.

Well, after looking over the 4 pages (front and back), I felt so awful. It was truely horrifying and depressing.

I could post the list of what MAKES me anxious here, but I'm sure you all have a life to lead, lol.

So, let me just post what DOESN'T make me anxious: crocheting, using the restroom, my dad (1/2 the time), breathing, my bird, playing with polymer clay, being on the computer and being alone.

Yeah, I really need to make that list a lot longer. So that's what I'm trying to focus my energy on right now. Learning how to not be afraid, learning what fears are just likely, how to deal with the fear and how to be comfortable in my own skin.

It's hard work, but I really need this, I really want it. I want my life back. Hell, I want to actually have a life before I die.

Jen

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