Sunday, August 16, 2009

This irks me

I know I was going to be taking a break, but I'm, hoping that blogging about this will help me wrap my mind around it.

So, the therapist wants me to stop being so anxious and worrying about everything. Ok, I'm cool with that, I'd love to spend more time just being.

The biggest thing I'm worried about right now is my car. My therapist wants me to quit worrying about it, since there's nothing I can do about it. WTF?!?!? This is foreign to me, because in my mind "if you don't worry about it nothing will get done about it".

My car runs great, I love this car(it's a 1991. The problems are the windshield wipers don't work (needs a motor), it has no exhaust system left, the tires aren't safe, the brakes aren't safe, and now the driver's door won't open (from inside or outside). But the engine runs just fine, tho I'm over due for an oil change, lol.

If I could afford a new car, I'd probably get rid of this one, but I'm not in that position. So I have to work with what I have. And that means about $600-700 worth of, which is more than the car is worth, but she's all I got.

What worries me most is in a month, my dad will be going back to Florida. Which means I will have no way to get to doctor's appoints, get groceries, or anything. Now wouldn't that freak you out, just a little?

What bugs me even more, is that I'm the only one even slightly concerned about it. My dad blows it off like it's not a problem. My therapist blows it off like it'll never happen (maybe he thinks I'm lieing or something).

I'm going to be headed in reverse. Everything that I've been trying to accomplish, trying to move forward, is going to go down the toilet.

It especially bothers me since I just found a therapist I think can help me, I'll get to see him another 4 times, then I'm SOL.

And this stupid city doesn't have bus service, ug. I filed for medical transportation and was turned down.

Now don't I have a legitimate reason to worry?



Nina Estrella said...

I can relate, the transmission is going in the one I drive, but just prioritizing and taking things on one step at a time with short goals is what I am doing, that and trying my best to be as fulfilled as I possibly can. I hope things get better and appreciate the honesty in your postings.

bingkee said...

That is why I don't want to depend on driving just to move from one place to another but I have no choice living in suburbia.
Thanks Jen for your interest. I sent an email to you for details.

Storm, The Psychotic Housewife said...

Your therapist sounds like my in-laws! If I had a dime for everytime they told me to stop worrying last week, I'd be rich right now! lol If I don't worry, things don't get taken care of.

Cromely said...

The thing to keep in mind is that there are only two types of things you can worry about. Those you can change, and those you can't.

If you can change it, then instead of worrying about it, change it.

If you can't change it, worrying about it isn't going to help.

At least that's I try to approach these things.

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