Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Anniversary and mammogram

Let me just say, I did nothing for my anniversary and here's why:

On Monday, I had a mammogram. Knew it was gonna be bad, I have fribroid adenomas in my left breast. No surprise, no biggie.

Well, 2 hours after getting it, my doc's office calls:

Nurse: "The doctor wants to see you asap, the test results were abnormal."
Me: Yes, I know, I've had the lumps for about 4 years.
Nurse: No, he compared this mammogram with your last one. Can you come in on Wednesday so he can discuss it with you?

Ok. I made the appointment and spent 36 hours a nervous wreck.

My appointment was this afternoon....well, it was suppose to be. My doc called out to deliver a baby, the computers were down, so I have to call tomorrow to reschedule.

I'm hoping he just tells me it's time for the adenomas to come out, they're achy and cranky. I'm hopinh that's all it is. Tho my Grandmother had breast cancer the first time at my age.


Thursday, October 22, 2009

I absolutely HATE my life

So, I've been running 40-50% off sales in my store. I actually got an order yesterday. I ask my lil sis last night if she'd take me to the post office (she was off work) of course, not a problem she tells me.

I still haven't heard from her. It pisses me off, she's so flighty. You can't count on her for anything except the fact that you CAN'T count on her. I guess it's to be expected, she's bipolar.

It's just hurts so much, knowing you have no one in your life that you can count on, no one to help when you need it.

We made plans this past weekend, so I could see my niece (her daughter), because I really miss her. Of course, my sister didn't show, didn't call and wouldn't answer the phone.

It just hurts so much. I'd never treat her like this, she wasn't like this before.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try to walk the 4 miles to the post office.

I'm going to have to change my therapy appoint again (4th time). So I have a time when the bus can take me, since I can't count on my sister to take me. She misses therapy/psych appointments all the time, lucky if she goes once every 2 months. She may not want help, but I do, I can't stand the depression, I want to get better. Even if she doesn't.

God I wish I had a car.


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Caught in a funk

I've really been a mess lately. Can't concentrate, have no interest in anything. Just in a really bad place right now.

No real cause for it or anything, just in the downward spiral.

Wanted to get some afghans done for Christmas, can't get interested in doing them. Then my right arm is killing me.

I'm just a mess. Can't figure out why or how to break it.


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

What should I do for my anniversary?????????

In 13 days, I will have had my freedom for 1 year. That's huge, major.

What should I do to celebrate? I want to do something to mark the day I left the ex....left the fear behind.

Life may not be perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better than when I was with him.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I want to take an art course

I've always loved learning and love going to school. If being a professional student paid better, I'd be one, lol.

Now, I want to take an at home art course. I want to earn that certificate and hang it on my wall. I really do. It's one of the goals my therapist and I have set for me.

Now I just need to raise the $130 to get it started, yuck.


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Anyone use Mirena?

**WARNING: Girlie gross stuff discussed. Might not be a post for the guys. You were warned fellas.

So, had my girlie exam today. Nothing like having a strange woman finger you...uh, I mean lookin into your kitty. Oh never mind, you know what I mean.

Originally, I only went to get the boobies checked out. I have Fibroid Adenomas in my left breast (lumps). And my family has a serious knack for breast cancer, so it's a situation I stay on top of. Any way, the lumps have grown and have begun to hurt, nothing like an achy cranky boob. It's to the point where a bra is REALLY uncomfortable. BONUS, there's one in the right one now too, I guess it felt left out.

So, I figured what the hell, lets just make this a full out embarrassing appointment and have everything checked out.

In uncomfortable situations, I can become a snotty smart ass. So I figured I'd throw a zinger at the ole doc. I started asking about birth control....then I added I wanted bc, but I'm over 35 and a smoker.

Now any woman who has seen the commercials knows, they all say the same thing, not for women over 35 who smoke. So I thought I was being Ms. SmartyPants. And the fact is I had given up on being able to get bc.

Boy, was I wrong. This broad named off at least 12 forms that I can use. Yeeeehaaaw!

I decided Mirena sounds like the best. It lasts for 5 years, nothing to remember to take and no unplanned babies.

Now, keep in mind who I am here. It's not like I'm having sex with anyone or have anyone in mind. Hell, I'm surprised there weren't cobwebs and bats in there, it's been so long. But at least when I do find someone, I don't have to worry.

So, does anyone have any experience with Mirena? Know anyone who "uses" Mirena? I'm kind of excited, might have to look for someone to try it out, not really, well, maybe.


Monday, October 5, 2009

Wow, 3 blogs

When I first started my blogging adventure, I never thought I'd be this into it, really.

I even bought a domain to throw up one of my blogs.

Hey, this blogging stuff is actually really fun. I'm enjoying it. Of course juggling 3 is taking me a little bit to get used to, but I'm getting there and learning so many new things.

I have a bunch of blogs I read and have even been reading books, how cool is that?

Well, I'm off to do some reading.


Saturday, October 3, 2009


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